I saw that a friend of mine was depressed (something I saw on Facebook). We're not close friends, but I wanted to talk to him about it. Give him a hug or something. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't message him. I just felt more alone realizing that I couldn't even reach out to someone I care about, despite our not being close.

I tried to talk to my cousin, but I couldn't. He's the only person in the world who I trust unconditionally. And I couldn't breach the subject.

I haven't even seen my brother today. I feel so lonely, but at the same time I can't bring myself to be around others. I only ate supper today because I knew no one would be around so I could leave my room. I want to die just so I can leave this goddamn room. I know that sounds crazy, but I can't do it. I don't want to go to class because I'd have to be surrounded by people. People who I really like, but people just the same. And I can't deal with people right now.

My friend Mike called me yesterday to ask if I wanted to go to Erin's at 7 to watch a movie. He said they'd pick me up so I said yes. 7 rolled around and they were no where to be found. By 8 I'd tried calling Mike and Erin, both to no avail. Finally, at around 8:20 Joan called asking where I was (she called my home phone, too, when she asked that). She was like, "Are you at Mike's? We're over at Pat's." First of all, Mike said Erin's. Second of all, no one mentioned Pat's. Third of all, they offered to pick me up. They called me.

So I hung up the phone with Joan and started to cry. I'd been feeling like crying all day. I'd been feeling absolutely horrid all day, and being forgotten just hurt like hell.

I'm posting this because I'm feeling really alone, and it seems that I can only bring myself to contact people across the internet.

Hello. How are you?