So I have been feeling really depressed latley...almost suicidal...friday...i went to the store...shopping to occupy my time...looking at the dvd section reading the backs...so i wouldn't have to be alone...even bought dvds that i really don't need...just so i can go back and return them give myself something to do....but while out (same thing ealier in the week)i had to fight back tears...i just wanted to started bawling...i wasn't done with my shopping, but i stopped at home on the to finish up...and i laid on the floor just fighting back tears---becuase when i cry it is so obvious my eyes swell up so much...but then i discovered i might get to go out in the evening...and that turned into an ordeal...the person i thought i was going to go out w/ i thought was ditching me (cell phone not working properly...but i have been ditched a lot in the past)--so i end up going out having a fun time--then sat. went out again had a fun time---and now i feel happy--i don't feel like crying---but i know it is only a temporary fix....how do i make it last...?
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