why would you have to name it? when you talk to whoever to talk to, begin you statement with something like--i'm not plannig this, its just a thought, then tell them what you are thinking. they will name it if they have to but most important, you will get help. ask them the name.

You are not alone in those thoughts.

I know that animals are not the same as people but to me they are...they are my children as I never had children of my own...when I get suicidal, the first thing I think of is how do I make it painless for my cats because no one could take care of them like I can...

I don't know what to call it but if you call a councelor or a doctor and let them know you are suicidal...tell them about the thought and they will tell you what it is and how to help you...

I'm sorry for the pain you are in right now. Has to be rough. Are you in counseling? Taking depression meds? If not, might be a good idea to look it. Best wishes to you.

Yes, by all means get help imediately. You never know when it will stop being just a "thought" and you will act on it as a woman did 4 weeks ago when she drowned her two tiny children in the bath tub so they could go "be with Jesus and not have to suffer like she's done" Yes, please get help NOW!! Hugs to you. message me if you need me as a friend.

You dont need a name for it. Once you say how you are feeling and what you are feeling they will know. Please talk to someone. Your kids need you and they deserve a life better than you or I have had. You deserve to live and get treatment and see how that makes you feel. Hopefully much better. I was always told that its my kids first and men second. That their feelings go above my husbands and even my own. Just call a crisis center and let them know how bad you feel. come here for support and doctor for treatment. You will make it. Like you said you are an intelligent woman and smart enough that you left your kids with him to sort this out. Keep going.

I am so glad you left the house, maybe it will clear your head for awhile, bring you some peace.

I feel you have clarity in your thoughts, you realize how insane they are, so that is a step forward. Please take the next step, get professional help. You can not change you husband, but you can change you, that's the only thing you really have power over anyway. Please seek help, tell them your thoughts in order to get help now.

bump. I moved this to the top because I think she really needs some support. This is urgent.

just thought I would bump you up some.

bump again.

My suicidal thoughts in a similar situation stopped when I had kids. It was no longer an option because they needed me for everything, amoungst protecting them from the sorts of their father.

To this day I always pray to God to please allow me to live until they are of age. We have legal docs in place, but you never know. I couldn't imagine them being raised by their father.

Just a different perspective. I really hope you get the answers that you seek. Perhaps you can use the legal system to further her exposure to him.

I am wondering what meds you are on, if you are even on any. My best friend had that happen when she was taking welbutrin, and here she could not take welbutrin, I would think that other meds could do the same.

no name needed, just help and support. i hope you find it. x

When I was younger, my suicidal thoughts also stopped with the birth of my child, and God, blessedly gave me the courage to see her grown. I always worried what I would do without her; however, God blessed me with a grandchild too. Promise yourself tommorrow, and seek help please.

Perhaps you can use the legal system to further her exposure to him.

*** im rather confused by that statement... he isnt an unwilling dad or abusive or anything, its just he acts like a teenager - whines when 'real life' infringes on his video game time, wont pick up after himself or kids, ect....

i see a couple of people put that their suicidal thoughts stopped when they had kids... ironically that is when mine got much worse... i had postpartum after our first child but the post partum psychosis started after the birth of our 2nd child 2 yrs ago...

i have always dealt with depression and have been in and out of counseling and cycled through (to date) around 9 different depression meds.

the one i am on right now obviously isnt working anymore since i seem to have cycled into manic again since i cant sleep more than 1 hr at a time again. i was pretty stable actually until the birth of our son - dont get me wrong, i had post partum with our daughter too (i have 2 kids, daughter is 7, son is 2) but it was just bad depression and responded to meds fairly quickly and well...i didnt have to switch meds for 2 yrs after that... 2 months after our son was born i had post partum psychosis with bipolar hypomania episodes.. it took them a good 4 months to find meds that worked and then after 1 yr, i cycled back out of the psychosis/manic phase and they switched me back to an ssri... and here we are back cycling...

yesterday was a particulary bad day, i wonder if other women had the same problem i do - that time of the month makes it so much worse... thing is i know from past experience that it is not rational and i removed myself from my children when it happened the first time - heck, they had to bring my husband back from afghanistan deployment because of it...

anyway, i dont so much bother with the counseling - basically the counselors tell me i need a psychiatrist because i need medication regulation and its difficult because there isnt a predictable pattern to when i cycle but when i cycle from regular depression into the psychosis/mania - the meds do nothing, when i first dealt with the psychosis, they took me off of effexor xr and put me on amitriptiline and it worked good...but then i cycled and the amitriptiline made me worse, so they put me back on effexor and i have been good for around 5 months now... just seems the cycles get worse and shorter, and we havent found one med to work on both situations, so i leave - because you are right ... you never know when it might turn into an actual belief instead of realizing it for what it is - irrational thoughts/beliefs ...

why do i want to know what it is? it works with my ocd to make me feel like i have some control over it if i can name it.... dont ask me to explain that one....