i don't usually do this but i could use some support right about now. for the past few days death seems so attractive and is all i think about. i want to beat this depression but i don't feel able to fight anymore. my friend tried committing suicide last week and i was hurt and don't think i could ever inflict this kind of pain on to anyone, but at the same time i'm losing hope and i'm losing myself. i'm not who i was, who i thought i would be and what i want to be. i have a pathetic excuse for a life and i'm feeling at breaking point. friends and family push and push me, all the time but when i say something it goes unheard. my feelings are not important to them so i've learnt not to tell them how i'm feeling. how much am i supposed to take before i erupt, before people realise how screwed up i really am. i am the person everyone comes to with their problems but when i have any who do i turn to? no-one because no-one is ever ever there and if they were they'd just tell me to get over it.
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