WELL MOTHER'S DAY WAS SUNDAY AND IT WAS VERY HARD FOR ME BUT I GOT THROUGH IT OKAY DIDN'T TALK TO ANYONE THAT MUCH JUST STAYED BY MYSELF MOST OF THE DAY. BUT THIS MORNING I WAS ALONE AND REALLY DOWN AND I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE A LOT LATELY BUT BEEN PUSHING IT OFF UNTIL I COULDN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE. AND I TOOK A BUNCH OF PAIN KILLER AND SOME OF MY ZANAX AND WAS JUST WAITING TO DIE. I WANTED TO END ALL THE PAIN THAT I HAVE CUTTING AND DRINKING WASN'T HELPING NOTHING SEEMED TO HELP I TRIED TALKING THAT JUST MADE IT WORSE IT SEEMS LIKE THIS WAS MY ONLY WAY OUT. THEN MY FIANCE CALLED AND TOLD ME HE LOVED ME AND COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT ME AND THAT IF I DIED THEN HE WOULD. SO HEARING THAT I FORCED MYSLEF TO GET SICK HE IS STILL MAD AT ME CAUSE I BROKE MY PROMSIE TO HIM BUT HE IS THE REASON WHY I AM HERE STILL.
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