ok so i hate admitting this, but last nite i had my very first suicidal thoughts ever. i actually wrote notes to my parents and ex. that is so not me...im usually the one saying how selfish it is and how i could NEVER do something that stupid. and look at me. i don't know what to do. i was at work and the thought of death made me happy. in my mind, if worse comes the worse and i cant fix anything in my life like ive been trying my hardest and struggling to, then i have one way out. i know thats not rite to think like that, but im at the point where i look forward to dying so much.
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