Right now someone had told me that I didn't deserve love and I just immediately started crying and I want to kill myself now. He said probably the most hurtful thing a person could say to me, because i myself believe this is true. But, having someone else say it to you.. it hurts so bad. I was acting a bit psychotic.. i'm ashamed to admit it but I was pulling my hair and scratching at my head, biting my fingers and veigns on my hands, and praying to god to kill me. I then started googling a painless way to kill myself and then I typed in "bipolar support groups" and immediately went here. I feel so hopeless and no one understands me! I am so desperate and I can't even think straight now. I am so upset.. I hate myself. I truly hate myself!
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