today was an opportunity for me to meet and get to know new people which is something that i think will bring me out of this lonely state and ultimately out of feeling depressed. before i met up with them i told myself positive thoughts and i said 'hey this is going to be a new beginning. i'm going to break out of my shell and stop all this shyness and these people might like me'. however when i got into the situation, i went further into my shell. i just can't talk to people recreationally. its not even a fear thing for me anymore. my mind just kinda goes a little blank in those situations and i don't say anything. when people ask me questions i respond to them but i can't keep it going. i never ever can just come right out and say something thats an opinion to start a conversation...i always have so ask a question but then i just end up asking alot of questions. anyway i was just wondering could there be something wrong in my brain that prevents me from forming an opinion about anything in those situations or that prevents me from i guess thinking on my toes? i'm beginning to think that something really is wrong with me socially
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