Is there any way you can get in-home health care? That would take a lot off you... And as much as I hate to ask this, would you consider a nursing home? I know what a bad rep they have, but there ARE nice ones out there...
It's like they tell us in EMT school- You can't take care of other people unless you take care of yourself.
I wish I could suggest more, but that's all I can think of right now... Good luck!!

Those are terrible things that happened in your life...but they aren't your fault...and you are still valuable despite the messed up people that hurt you. Go to therapy if you aren't already...join a support group. Does your mom have any benefits meaning can you get someone to come and watch her while you take some time for your interests.

I agree with EMSdaisy and lexfx. Is there any assistance that you and/or your mother can get? Your brother needs to help you with this. If he doesn't live nearby, he can hire a nurse once in awhile to give you a break. Do you have an outside job besides? No wonder you are feeling so depressed. It must seem like you will never have a life. Are you in any kind of counseling? There are lost to no cost programs available. You need to know that you are not alone. We are here for you.

thank you all.Brother is mentally ill and an alcoholic.My nephew might take her in august to tenessee. i should have been in this group along time ago such wonderful people.thank you again

hi hon,
maybe you just have too much to take care of mom....if you cant get a break and rest, you will not be able to do it.
if there is no way for you to do it,
you may have to place her in a nursing home,
sometimes this is the only thing to do.
but just remember you can visit her there as much as you need to ,
but it is no good for you or her to try to do this until it makes you sick,and apparently , you are not able to get the rest,and breaks you need.
if there was just someone to help, you could probably take care of her...
you are trying so hard, and i hope you find an answer and some help...
hugs
joyce

There were times when I was my dad's caregiver that I just had to get away for a bit (and he just had Alzheimers, no addictions). But I understand how hard it must be for you. I had a section of the house that was mine alone, and I would make arrangments to see that Dad was cared for, and leave for a weekend now and again. In the end, I could not leave him alone, but the small respites I got just from walking in to a pet shop were a lot of help. Keep reaching out to all of us here, and we will help as much as we can.

I worked in an alzeihmer's and dementia day care for the Council on Aging in Florida. See if there is a chapter in your community.

Kalei, I haven't gone through the horrible ordeal you have but I am 53 and living my 83 year old mother who is not quite all there anymore and it is causing me to be more depressed. I feel the same way "when will it be my turn to have a life." I have 5 sisters but none who will come around to help out or take them into her home permanently or temporarily.

don't feel sorry thats the way u feel u have had a lot 2 deal with in ur life no wonder u feel like this. maybe its time now 2 concentrate on urself take sometime out and do something u enjoy just for u don't let it pass u by xxx

Maybe you could ask for some home hospice care for your mother? It would help to take some of the pressure off of you. I think you might need to check into something like that, because if you don't it's going to wreck you emotionally.

my father bunt down my mothers house and assaulted 2 police officers and i had a horriable childhood as well, please don't give up. Tak to your doctor and remember time helps not heals but helps all wouds

Doesn't medicade provide assistance for the caregiver as well as the person being cared for? In Home Assistance, as EMSDaisy suggested. I remember once I went on an interview and that's what the job concerned, the office provided in home assistance for caregivers, 2 or three time a week. You got to take the pressure off, any family, chruch member, neighbor that can help while you check into state agencies to help you.

Truth is, your mom may be happier in a nursing facility. I would rather mine put me away than suffered as you are. It may take the guilt off both of you.

Or assisted living, my mother in law lives in a place where they get like reduced housing, and it's just a bunch of people her age, it wonderful, and she loves it.
My Mom is the same age as yours, cant see very well, she lives in a what I call retirement village, with other active 83 years olds. They get each other going and have a ball. She loves it too. Little payton place at times and they are livlier than the college kids my daughter lives with.
It's about time you both caught a break, at 83, not much you can do about the prescriptions, they all have to take alot of meds.

As a home health nurse, I have seen your situation a LOT! To other people Mom is a sweet little old lady - wouldn't hurt a fly, "all I want is to be comfortable, I don't want to be any trouble to anyone", but the minute the door is shut, she's like the stepmother in Cinderella - do this, do that, hurry up - the soups too hot, the ice cream is too cold...and all the guilt, too - I took care of you when you were a baby, and you can't do blah, blah, blah; you don't love me, you are just waiting for me to die, so you can get my money! all of you are against me - you told the doctors blah, blah...

If this is wrong, accept my apologies. But, if I am right... you need to pick yourself up and live your life - don't keep buying into the guilt anymore! i agree with the other people here, either get some help in somehow, or look for a nursing home. of course, that will start another round of guilt heaping, which you will also have to be strong for.

As far as the pills are concerned - she's 83 -why on earth are her doctors so concerned with this? thats a waste of time and energy - she's 83! If I live to be 83 honey, I will have a margarita in one hand and a joint in the other!! Well, I suppose thats not PC to say - oh well!
Truly though, if I am off base here, I do apologize. In any event, bless your heart - you certainly have your hands full!