I have dealt with depression since i was about 11 years old, and i started cutting myself not long after that. I have been on a lot of anti depresants, each type making me sick. However over the last few years i have been coping pretty good and have found ways to live a semi fullfilling life, but over the last 6 months i have felt myself starting to crack. I have been trying to be strong for so long and i am trying so hard not to let my family and friends see me down in order to protect them, however now i am terified because i feel numb and they are terrified becasue they can see it. I have never felt so alone or so worthless and every day i wake up it feels colder and blacker, i keep telling my self things always get better, it just takes time, but with each new day i am starting to doubt this more and more and i hate this hollow feeling that consumes me. I hate the person i am when i am like this i lose friends and i lose family, and i dont know what to do.
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