i can't do this any more. here. i guess i was wrong about this place. thought maybe it could help. but a place where i could speak my own voice... turns out i can't. some hate mail for my thoughts... sorry if i offended... but don't we all?. as if i have my own right to say what i feel... even in anger ranting venting, my posts will be removed. i realize what i had become. more dark just talking about how i feel. i let it out, and it grows. my anger becomes fed by the negativity. of myself and others. once again i influence the society to become hateful... of me. but if you can look at yourself and see the hatred you bloomed then maybe you can really see how i feel. i'm here cause i'm fucked in the head to begin with. went to the doc today and she gave me more anti depressants. now i take 2 different ones. one in the morning, and one at night. yeah i'm ugly and hatefull. i'm sure with the topic of attention comming along round here... that some who find themselves messed, would insist they are going to do it tonight. in whitch many would respond with words of love... even though you don't know the person. so it's fake love that the person who's challenging the thinkable is looking for. because he/she doesn't get enough of real love. so what if the person has attempted it here 20 times. fake it like you always do. tell em to calm down and that everything will be ok. it's all you can do. in this case it's not that ds has failed me... y'all are who you are. i failed me. i failed you. i won't say i will delete my profile right away... only because i know i will be curious to see what you have to say. but i will delete it shortly. i have become what i have once hated. a net life. i've lost friends to this sort of thing. many friends. and i don't want to become that. if any moderator has any problem with this post... please don't delete it right away... i'm just in that place right now
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