was thinking of calling a suicide hoitline the next time i am having sucidual thoughts but I am too afaird to talk to anyone cause I am afaird that whoever I talk to will send mne to the hospital. I have already been in the hospital twice and the last time I was chaptered and if I go there again I wont be able to leave for a long time and I cant stay there that klong of time cause i am going to college and I cant miss that many days
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