I have a hard time being social. Even if at the time I feel like the day is going well and I may even be having a good time, when it's over, I'm racked with guilt and aniexty. "I shouldn't have said that. Why did I talk about that?" I spend the rest of the night and usually the next day regretting every word that came out of my mouth. I don't think anybody ever wants to hear anything I have to say. Ever. I always feel like a freak. I can't even allow myself to feel good about a day that, at the time, I thought was going well. Thing is, my DH and therapist would say it's all in my head, and to a point I'm sure it is, but I just KNOW that some of the things I'm thinking are true. Socializing should not be THIS hard.
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