I woke up feeling particularly bad this morning. As I was looking on the internet I got absorbed in this article on brain surgery for treatment resistant depression. Suddenly I began to cry my heart out that my situation is so abominable I was actually considering brain surgery for a minute. I have such a bad form of depression and feel so desperate. I am underpaid and can't find a job in my field. Not even sure I could handle one :( Money is a terrible worry--I mean terrible. I never ever want to go there again--completely broke, not sure I can pay for my insurance, my mortgage etc. AND having depression steal all that I really value from my life--my profession, my sanity, my peace, love, friendships, a feeling of success, the ability to feel happiness, peace that I own my home. I am raw with sorrow today--sorrow as to how it could all have gone so wrong and wondering how or when it will ever go right again. Thanks for listening. It helps me just to get it out. I know I am a downer sometimes--but I cannot put on a happy face here--nor should I ever have to.
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