I don't know what to do. I have been in and out of deep depressions for years now, but it's gotten increasingly worse. I have so much to live for, I know I do, but I'm terrified and feel an overwhelming sense of anguish. I was sexually assaulted and I was betrayed by so many people, including my therapist.. I have eating disorders, I always feel disgusting if I eat too much. I have developed such insecurity.. I feel like an idiot. I feel like I don't deserve to live.. Like I can't go outside.. My family has given up on me. I am alone... so alone. But no one believes me because I put on a happy smile in an effort to "try" to be happy. Lately, I have contemplated taking my own life. I wrote a letter that I think was a suicide note. Please give me inspiration. I want to feel beautiful again. I want to appreciate my life. I'm just losing hope.
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