I been so depressed n frustrated easily lately. I jus feel like killing myself, jumpin off a bridge-whatever. Making little decisions is so hard, get in the car get outa the car answer the phone dont answer the phone. bullshit!!! i feel like shit will never be normal. my relationship probelms have gotten so deep i cant get myself outa them w.o jus destroying my phone. I'm so frustrated!! everybody tells me "just leave him" its not that easy! Those of u who've ever loved ANYONE know its so hard to let them go, especially against your own will. I broke up with him and I keep starting all the fights. I dont know why though. N i did go out n fuck around wit my ex last night and i still have strong feelings towards him, but my current boyfriend/relationship whatever, i love him but i know or at least think hes fuckin around on me. Point bein i know its best i leave him but its so fucking hard. I can't stand this anymore i'm jus sooo confused with everything thats going on. I get so sick, i start shaking, feel like i'ma puke...everytime something little happens or i go to do something dumb. I wanna run away. Far far away to places people never heard of. I jus want somebody to show me they care about me. Somebody to love me unconditionally. I know "i'm young" but i've been through alot n i know what i want. I'm jsu so mixed up inside like my mind wont work properly. All day i'm jus like WHATS WRONG WIT ME?!!!! i fucking hate myself so much because even though i know i'm doing the wrong thing i dont do anything about it...no self control i guess. fuck it
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