went to see my mother today. i havent seen her in about two months even though she lives two bus rides away (about 7 miles) which takes an hour. well she was drunk as per effing usual. no wonder i dont want to be around her, i havent seen her sober in almost three years now. am i a selfish cow for cutting myself off from her negative behaviour? i just havent got the strength anymore, i can barely keep myself going, carrying a deadweight like that is soul destroying. its going to kill her but most days in my mind she is already dead.
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