It's wednesday morning, eating my first meal since breakfast yesterday. I hadn't been this bad since the first few weeks of the breakup... I had had depressive episodes (1 every 6 months) in the past, but she was always there. I had gone one year without a major depressive episode. Now i'm lost and last week, searching through FB for some shred of hope that she might not 'actually' be with that guy, I stumble across the photos of them, cheek to cheek and all the rest of it. She was my only 'real' friend and my major support and it is ruining me... I have been going out, just for the sake of it, with people I used to hang around when I was a real heavy drinker/smoker. It all just feels so empty.... I gave up yesterday, didn't get up, answer the phone or go to uni. I've woken up this morning and I'm in the same position. She went to Europe last year for 3 months with her friend and I pined for her. Now less than a yr on and she's left me. 4 years in all and it seems that I'm in the same position I was when I met her, desperate, lonely, depressed, anxious (although I hid it from her at the time with drugs/alcohol). Now some guy 4 years her junior gets what I used to have. I got busy in the last semester with uni and work and really thought I was going to have a future for myself. But now it's all got even worse. I would buy her gifts, drive her around, pay for meals and do everything I could to please her. It wasn't enought and in the end, I'm all alone....
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