I know that there has been a big explosion in the media recently about sexual harassment. Hard to know exactly what it is. Then I guess there is just plain old harassment. I'm not sure where this one falls.
I've had a bad time since I've been on my current job with my co worker. Practically everyone I know has problems with him. The students have problems with him, my boss has significant problems with him, and some of my co workers have problems with him. Seems to be a constant thing. As long as I've known him, he's been argumentative, acts like a bully, and invades my personal space. I've simply been dealing with it for two years. But I've never trusted him, in fact, he's a serious liabilitiy. He once falsely accused me of getting involved romantically with a student. Bad news.
Now, as his behavior has gotten worse, he's gotten into fights/altercations with students, and unsurprisingly, has been accused of sexual harassment by two female students. I could see why. I am a middle aged woman and I personally find him very intimidating. For as long as I've worked there, I have actively tried to dodge him because he seemed to be paying an excessive amount of attention to me that I frankly found scary. The first week we met, he got real close to me, looked me in the eyes, and asked me, "Do you own a gun?" I found that really frightening. The question was right out of the blue.
He has been incredibly difficult to work with, badgering me continually when he wants his way. When I returned to school this year, unsurprisingly, his wife walked out on him, took her stuff and left the state. After this, there was a huge uptick in the amount of attention that he was paying to me. He was talking about their marital problems to me all the time. I started avoiding him and he wanted to know why. So I told him "I can't listen to you I have to work." I documented all of this. And months prior to this, I also documented the conversation about how I couldn't convert to his religion, which he was trying excessively hard to get me to do.
Now, he is constantly trying to get me to hang out with him and or his wife, they are on some basis where they are sort of dating again, but who knows as to their status. He is always trying to get me to go to his house on lunch. He says that she will make me lunch, but I really don't like this. I don't want to go to his house at all. Besides, what if I go to the house and it's just him there?! The invitations are constant, he insists that I go on trips and excursions with them and presents it like it's not an option, and when I don't respond, he asks and asks and asks and asks, on my break at lunch, and at the end of the day, and when I finally say I'm not coming, you can tell he's mad. One of the more bizarre things that he's said to me was that he loves the sound of my laugh and the way my eyes match my hair. I absolutely want to throw up on myself.
I was so stressed out this week that I could not sleep when I came home, I was grinding my teeth and tossing and turning. I went back to my prior behavior of taking pills and smoking weed, doing it all at once, becuase I was panicking. I woke up really late and barely made it to work the next day. A real mess. I finally talked to the secretary and my boss. The secretary said that she might to go HR about him and that he comes to her desk and puts his arm around her chair and that he was staring down her blouse. So gross. But I felt much better once I told my boss, mainly becuase I feel like there is no way to stop him. I've told him before I'm not the person he should be talking to about his marriage and that I have work to do, yet now he is trying to get me to be his big friend and hang out with him. What doesn't he understand? My god.
There's an awful numbness in my hand. It feels weak whenever I use it. Cut a line across my hand, I wouldn't say that it is deep, the bleeding stopped and all that, but something feels off? I suspect bruising. I've gotten bruises before from uh, self-injury, but they've never felt like this before. Recently popped a new razor out, because my old one got absolutely destroyed, and the edge was...
Sometimes I get episodes of feeling both depressed and manic symptoms (such as high energy and agitation) at the same time. During this time I also get very paranoid and hear voices (I have schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type). I am so confused.