the ups and downs of this stupid disease. One week I'm great. The next I have major anxiety and panic attacks. Now I have sunk into this awful dark empty depression feeling again! I woke up this morning, after having woken up every hour all night, and felt like there was a war going on in my stomach and chest. Panic in my stomach. Once I got up, I immediately felt like going back to bed and crying until I fell back asleep. I HATE THIS!! I'm sick of it! I am constantly trying to hld it together at work and in front of my kids. I don't want to do this anymore.
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Sorry I just need to vent. Someone close today confronted me about my depression which I would be happy with but they only want to help when I become an inconvenience to them. I felt attacked instead of hope, they would say I want to help you the entire time but would point out how it is my fault.This experience has left me more closed off to the world then ever, I just want to hide and lick my...
I really want to die. I find no joy in my life. Everyone I cared for is dead or gone and the people I've met are I guess well meaning but clueless and disengaged because they have their own lives. I am terrified all the time. I'm terrified of losing my shelter, how to eat, whether or not someone is trying to hurt me. I'm so so tired of feeling this way and I've tried reaching out but I feel like...