I have none left in me ever since I got hurt at work in 2006 and was put on SSDI along with other health problems I have lost my will to live I have tried to get it back to no avail. I feel like a total failure in life as a whole. All my life I have had struggled with my depression only to have every thing I touch screw up .I feel as if it is just not worth it to fight . A failure as a husband, father, son and a brother . I have no strength left to fight . The holidays seem to kick the ever loving shit out of me ... I am sitting looking at this whole bottle of insulin wanting to give myself the final injection and drift off to sleep forever. WHY WHY WHY can't I feel better . why do I have to stay here. .
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OK, we had a lady who would come in once a week for about 5 hours to be with my MIL so we could run errands that took too long. (What ever that means!) But mostly it let us get a break.The lady quit, and MIL was HAPPY! Now we got a replacement and MIL is throwing a fit. As near as I can see it she sees things in a binary way. Good or bad. Productive or a burden. Loved or hated. ...
And I'm still broken.I'm 30 years old and I lost my mom when I was 15 due to an illness known as Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. Recently, my 73 year old father has had some mishaps causing me great concern for his well being. He lives alone and now I have to intervene. Brief backstory, before the medical staff pulled the plug on my Mom 15 years ago, I made a promise to her that I would take care...