Somebody else just wrote a thread like this..... hmmm..... where was it....

Not since I've been on meds, but when I tried to do things on my own, definitely!! A few days, or weeks, or doing okay, but then feeling like I'm not doing well enough, so what does it matter if I backslide?

It usually starts with blame. We have to, of course, blame someone for the lives that we have. People with depression tend to blame ourselves -- even when it isn't our fault.

Depression is a great exercise in self-punishment at times.

So yes, plenty can relate to what you wrote.

Found it!

http://dailystrength.org/component/option,com_joomlaboard/Itemid,53/func,view/id,1003714/catid,679

So, short answer, yes.

self sabotage has been one of the biggest things associated with my depression thats held me back the most, I hit myself in the financial face most of the times, delay paying bills till its much to late, forget appointments or put them off till i miss something very important...i feel if I could stop holding myself back, stop getting in my own way, the psycho-social events that trigger my down times would be all but oblitterated. Meds help the genetic parts, its things i do or allowed done to myself that kill my chances of living a better life

I KNOW I do. It's terribly annoying because I have though about and thought about it, and there is no conscious reason I can think of.

When I first started feeling like I was actually getting a little better, I did self-sabotage, and for exactly the same reasons: I knew (or thought I knew) that I didn't deserve it. Eventually I learned that I shouldn't always believe the thoughts that go with the feelings: I may feel like a bad person, but I try not to let myself believe it. Btw, the desire to self-sabotage did wear off, altho it took a while. Keep letting us tell you that you deserve to get better, and then make sure you LISTEN to us! :))

Of course I just had a thread up Joy or Sabbatage! (I am used to being ignored)must be a newbie treatment?
Anyway of course, Self sabatage is normal, unhealthy but normal habits of our actions we have lived with for so long! Learning to live a new way with different habbits, people, environments (if it takes that) and then dealing with medication (if that is the chosenb route, dealing with self doubt sheeeeeesh! When a good day comes along! Only natural to sabatage because THE BOMB WILL DROP ANY WAYS RIGHT? At least so we think! And when some **itty day happens along we think oh here we go again instead of just letting it pass as being what it is.
Human drama is always going to be here.
Creation and destruction happening all the time everywhere!
Do we self sabatage YES!
Sherose
Namaste'

Do we have to
NO!
Sherose

I do the same thing, sometimes I can keep up the good stuff for a little bit, month or so, but then, yup, I go right back, but I also know my meds aren't working well....

I also seem to only to be able to concentrate on one thing and the rest of my life goes to pieces