Don't think of yourself as selfish. Make sure you eat well and keep doing what you're doing. I'm sure that he wouldn't feel so strong if you weren't there.

find things that you like about yourself, no matter how small that thing may be. tell yourself that you matter. try not to let the jealousy take over

You start with baby steps. Find a hobby that you enjoy and take time for you. Get out and meet people. Take pride in yourself, because you are special and tell yourself that! The really important thing to do is to get out from under your husband. Be happy for him. Go out and have some fun. Shopping maybe? Movies? Etc. What about family or friends? Start taking baby steps and list things that make you happy, even the smallest things, and what you really like about yourself; again even the smallest things. I think you will be surprised; how much you do have to offer to yourself and others! Good luck.

Why do you think you're so down on yourself? You are beautiful and look like you have a great family in your photos.

I need those same answers as you. My self-esteem took a nosedive when my husband threw me away for his ex-wife just because she showed up! I was very pregnant at the time and have felt worthless since. Although we reconciled, our life is not a bed of roses. I just feel like ...what is SO wrong with me that he could do me that way? ya know?! So that's what I've been struggling with. I look in the mirror and think ...hey I'm okay, then I'll look again and think I'm disgusting. I know it comes from within I just don't know how to feel better, worthy, pretty, etc.

Also, why do you think you're selfish???? Hugs.

I feel like I am reading something that I wrote...you and I have a lot in common. I am often jealous of how my husband can stay so upbeat and I am so depressed. I also have 3 children (twin 2 year old boys) and a 4 year old girl.
I don't have much advice but I do have a great friend who knows how depressed I am and she makes it a point to get me out to do things and go jogging 2x a week. I don't want to let her down so I go out and I always feel better but I DO understand the selfish part. You are so used to giving to everyone that to take any time for yourself seems so foreign and well, selfish! I have noticed that with age I care a little bit less what others think but I believe I will always care a little more than the average person because that is just how I am. Like I said I don't have much advice because I feel like you and I are one in the same but you can vent to me anytime!! Keep your head up...you have a full house to juggle and I'm sure, considering how consciencious you seem to be, you are doing a wonderful job!

BreezyAng..is right.Its how I deal with my low self esteem.My partner is the cause of a lot of my low self esteem but hes not so bad lately.I always feel dowdy and fat and that people dont like me.Ive had a friend literally hold me in front of a mirror and make me look,telling me that Im so wrong about my feelings about myself.The biggest shock was my manager and undermanger both telling me on seperate occasions how patient,understanding,careing I am.That nothing seems to much trouble,no matter how difficult it is.That Il never say no to something if I can do it.That Im totally wasted where I am and they want to help me go higher.etc etc(the undermanager told me this in front of a group of my workmates-I felt like dying with embarrassment).It was nice to be thought so much of,but I did find it embarrasing from both of them.It just goes to show that we may thing badly of ourselves BUT we dont see ourselves as others see us,even if we think we can.You look like you have lovely family,thats down to your husband AND YOU.He wouldnt be so happy if you werent making him happy too.It is hard not to feel self conscious.I feel self conscious posting what was said about me on here,that others may think Im being big headed or something.But who cares if you listen and start to look at yourself in a better light.Good luck.x

I don't think you are selfish at all. I too used to be soooo negative all the time. It's taken me a long time to feel better about myself.

I'm not happy all the time by any stretch of the imagination. I'm bipolar with major depression and this is the worst time of yr for me normally.

I started out small by walking once a day. Then it went to 4 x's a day after a while. Lost alot of weight doing this and not eating as much. That made me feel better.

Changed my hair, get my nails done ect.... But I have a very negative alcoholic hubby which drags me down.

You have a lovely family. The older you get I think you stop worrying about what others think of you as much. Not sure how old you are but I'm 44 now.

I know, you want to be the one that makes him happy. I'm sure you do! To build yourself up...

I would try small things. Like taking a walk, think of things about you, you like, ...are you in therapy? That has helped me the most than these dreaded meds I think.

I am totally honest in there too. Which is the only way to be in therapy. Get it all out on the table.

Again, you are NOT selfish!!

i have none at all, at the time i have no feelins for my self

Remember that you are a huge part of your husband's life, and that if you weren't in it, his life would be less complete. That alone gives you worth.

Also, its human nature to be selfish. We only ever do that which benefits us, fortunately most people feel that the common welfare benefits themselves.

Dear KarleeM.
As far as your negatism, remember you
do have an illness, that causes the
brain to respond the way it does.
Maybe you wouldn't feel so selfish, if
you can give your husband time to
speak of whatever has gone on in his
life that day as well. Maybe even
start a conversation off, using
What, Where, Why. I think he will open
up. Then you won't feel like it is a
one-sided conversation.
As far as feeling stronger about
myself, I tell myself every day :"I want
to be a strong." I think by saying this
to yourself, you will learn to build
more self-confidence in you.
Good Luck with this.

BRAVE

maybe u could join a club or something make u meet new ppl i dont know sorry f this isnt good advice but im trying my best 2 help ppl on here

i dont think ur being selish as every1 should b happy and enjoying life u have 2 think of yourself at times 2 make sure u survive