I know that there's a separete site for self cutters but i know more folks on this community and I need some help to just hang on. I talked to my ex online earlier and I was just overwhelmed with emotions. I know that with it being the start of the holidays doesn't help my depression since it will be my very first holidays w/out anyone. But I started crying so hard that I couldn't breath and then I got so mad that I started throwing things. I tried to gain control and do the "right thing" I called the hot line that I've used in the past. Some new chick just wanted to know if I was suicidal or not. I tried to explain to her threw the tears that when I get like this if I can't talk to someone who at least acts like they care I start cutting. Well, you got it...I've started cutting on myself again tonight. I'm glad that I have cats so I can blame them for the cuts if anyone see's them at work tomorrow, but does anyone do this when you feel truly totally overwhelmed with sadness and angry at the same time?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??