I am worn out. I am not depressed ok - but I wonder if my fear of cancer is actually my subconscious wanting to die. Is that true? Your true self and mind wants to die even though you haven't thought about it? Well, I considered this last night and, it gave me relief in a strange way.... It's like sleeping, or resting. I am not unhappy unhappy but when I considered all this it made me relax. Am I mad? Can you love someone so much, or not be able to deal with someone passing to the extent of being unable to see life in the same way? I need some major help tonight.
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