I can't stop crying this morning and I hate it... everything I see or read just makes me depressed, either because it's depressing in itself or, if it's not, because I feel like it will become depressing soon enough. Sounds crazy, I know. I feel like everything sucks. I know deep down that that's not true, but right now I feel so overwhelmed and unhappy. I'm alone out here. I love and want snow and we probably won't get any, this fall having been so disgustingly warm. I wish things were like they used to be; things were simpler and I had a lot more options. Right now I feel like I'm trapped here, in a dead-end job in a state that I can barely afford. I wish I could live way out on my own with some land. I wish I could do compounding pharmacy. I wish I could find someone with whom I could spend the rest of (or at least most of) my life. I wish I could have pets. I want all these things and right now I have to put them all on hold. Realistically, I realize that's how it has to be right now. But I hate it.
Today I'm at a point where I'm ready to end it. Tired of feeling low and depressed. I cry all the time
I was planning my suicide tonight... but some councler told me to come here soo..? I dont know