Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Roommates

deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi. I'm new to this site and I could really use some advice.I'm starting university this fall and I had to move into a house with 5 other students. I only know one of the roomies well because we are good friends, but I dont know anyone else. Today I went and met all my roomies and well ever since, I can't help but feel upset. They are all so pretty and confident and outgoing. Then there's me. I'm the ugly duckling. I'm not pretty or outgoing or confident. I dont belong with these people at all. In fact,I dont think I belong with anybody anymore. I dont dress like them or act like them. I don't want to change myself to be like them either...

We went to a bar together yesterday. They invited a ton of their friends so naturally I was a bit nervous. Now not only did I have to try and get along with my future roomates, but I had to get along with all their friends too. Everyone was buying drinks for everyone else, but me. Everyone was taking pictures and laughing and singing. Guess what I was doing? Nothing. Dont get me wrong, at first I tried, very hard, to be a part of the "group". I laughed and smiled politely. Ordered a drink. Tried to talk about something, anything, but after a few moments, I was left to sit there and watch others have the best time of their life. I dont know if you have every been in a situation like that before, but it feels just awful. It was like I was invisible.

Im sorry this is so long, but I need to get this off my chest. I need some help on what to do. I have to spend the next 8 months with these people so I need to get along with them. I dont want to be an ugly duckling anymore. I dont want to be the sad and lonely girl in the corner of the bar. I want to be someone. All my life I've been told I need to do this and do that. Lose weight, change my clothes, cut my hair... ect. ect. ect. I'm so tired of it. I just want to be me. Whomever that may be.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you just found your own advice. Be yourself. I think you will find that your really a great person with a lot of potential. As for the externals, losing weight, changing close, etc, treat that as blah blah blah. My 14 year old daughter makes us crazy with her self criticism. She is witty charming and very pretty, not to mention a very bright soul for 14, of course she is a daddys girl. Find your positives and accentuate those. If people around you act shallowly, then move on, politely.It breaks my heart when I hear young girls call them\selves ugly. Do you know what ugly is? Ugly, is from inside, not out. You will be someone. Be kind to yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I understand what you mean in away. I lived with a blonde tall rich girl for almost 2years. She party,drink all night and sleep in and go to afternoon classes. I was the poor girl who worked and tried desperately to keep up with her. I ended up financially in debt and more depressed than ever. I finally opened my eyes and reliazed I don't have to go out with my roommate I don't have to like her friends. I went out and found my own friends that I had something incommon with. My roommate was so confused and upset. And you know oh well. I was not anyones pet. So you may feel like the ugly duckling in the group but remember you are going to school and you will meet a whole different group of people. I know it is hard to socialize with people you don't know but I think you will find people in your class or school that share the same interest. I promise you. When you meet new people go out with your roommates and your new friends. If you think you are too ugly or not as slim as them, remember you can be pretty and a size 2 and every guy looks at you but if you don't have a good personalitiy you are ugly. You don't have to be a supermodel to be pretty a wonderful personality is all you need. Walk in that bar or party like you are the prettiest girl their. Trust me people will notice.
deleted_user
deleted_user
calling yourself an ugly duckling isn't very nice!
i know u said u tried to be part of the group..yet at the same time, YOU said u didn't belong.
people sense this, darlin. u were uncomfortable and insecure..they felt that. and most likely had no clue how to relate.
u have to work on your self esteem....a start would be to stop refering to yourself as an ugly duckling.
xoxo Di
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hun I am sure that you are over exagerating the ugly duckling thing. I know that I do it. I think I am so ugly and so fat. In social situations I sit in the corner and dont socialize with anyone. But as I get older I am learning slowly very slowly that this is not true. That I am beautiful. That guys and girls dont care about my weight. Try clicking with people that you have the same intrests. I dont like going to bars or clubs. So I dont hang out with people that go to bars and clubs.
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