I was addicted to pain killers for many years. They were prescribed for back pain, but I soon found out they served other purposes. For example, they seemed to make me happy, euphoric, sociable, more outgoing, less sad, and more courageous. They were my courage in a bottle. And the pills numbed me from my fears and worries, from my depression, and my anxiety. But when I went off the pills 6 months ago, I no longer had this "courage" and had to learn all over how to deal with stress, depression, anxiety, boredom and so forth. My depression and anxiety the first month was off the charts as a result of the withdrawl from the pills. The doctor said it may take 1 or 2 years before my brain starts producing normally, the chemicals that affected the pleasure centers of my brain and those parts of the brain that operated such emotions as joy, happiness, courage, etc. So I have been on suboxone for my addiction to opiates and Lexapro to deal with the anxiety and depression. Since I have been clean from the pills, my depression and anxiety have slowly decreased but have always been there. Lately however, I am on a rollercoaster. In other words, one minute I am somewhat content, happy, relieved, and 3 minutes later, I feel down, lonely and sad, and 3 minutes later I could be back to being happy and content. So my question is, do you think my brain is starting to come around now where it's starting to function the way it should but only in very brief episodes? Is this the start of the rebuilding of my brain to now function normally and that sooner or later, I will have more highs then downs and it will slowly even off to a place where I am content and can be happy when I want?
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
I have my maxed amount of epidural shots of my cervical DDD....(and no one cares about my lumbar DDD)..... I've done physical therapy, muscle relaxers, Amitriptyline, Nortryptiline, desipramine.....narcotics... So I decided to go to a spine specialist and they have me on Gabapentin. Its been two weeks and it did nothing for my lumbar ever... but it did seem to help my cervical and arm/hand pain...