I was addicted to pain killers for many years. They were prescribed for back pain, but I soon found out they served other purposes. For example, they seemed to make me happy, euphoric, sociable, more outgoing, less sad, and more courageous. They were my courage in a bottle. And the pills numbed me from my fears and worries, from my depression, and my anxiety. But when I went off the pills 6 months ago, I no longer had this "courage" and had to learn all over how to deal with stress, depression, anxiety, boredom and so forth. My depression and anxiety the first month was off the charts as a result of the withdrawl from the pills. The doctor said it may take 1 or 2 years before my brain starts producing normally, the chemicals that affected the pleasure centers of my brain and those parts of the brain that operated such emotions as joy, happiness, courage, etc. So I have been on suboxone for my addiction to opiates and Lexapro to deal with the anxiety and depression. Since I have been clean from the pills, my depression and anxiety have slowly decreased but have always been there. Lately however, I am on a rollercoaster. In other words, one minute I am somewhat content, happy, relieved, and 3 minutes later, I feel down, lonely and sad, and 3 minutes later I could be back to being happy and content. So my question is, do you think my brain is starting to come around now where it's starting to function the way it should but only in very brief episodes? Is this the start of the rebuilding of my brain to now function normally and that sooner or later, I will have more highs then downs and it will slowly even off to a place where I am content and can be happy when I want?
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