It's 1 a.m. and I just let my dog's outside. I stood on the porch looking at the giant moths and locusts on the house while my dogs went about their business. Then I stepped lightly on something and it stuck to my big toe. I gave a reflexive kick and it still stuck. All these thoughts flashed through my head, "did I step on a frog? no it's not wet... god, I hope I didn't kill a mouse or something, shit, it's still on my toe... Oh My God, it's holding on... Shit, it's as big as my big toe!!! OMG what is it?" Kick, Kick, Scream, Heebie Jeebies... It was a black beetle the size of my big toe latching on for dear life as I jumped around the porch kicking and screaming. He's probably out there not laughing with his buddies.
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