So we talked last night - I told him how much I wish I could take it all back and he cried, he said he knew how much it was hurting and doesn't like facing up to the pain espicially after everything else we have been through. I asked him what he would've done if I had said no to an abortion, what if I never did it, and kept it he said that I was an idiot for thinking he would leave me espicially if I was having his child, that he waited five years to have me and wasn't about leave me over something as special as this. Then I asked him about his mother, he said he is going to talk to her today and that she is going to assume it's me manipulating him and I said that's fine as long as you scream and shout at her that it is US who want nothing to do with her. That it is both of us not just one or the other. He said he understood and he would but she is the type of person that it has to be her idea for it to be right, if it's not what she wants then it's not what's gonna happen and this is true I have witnessed it happening right in front of me, she will overstep a line and he will speak to her calmly about it then will explode at her about it and f and blind at her but it will be in one ear and out the other. So I have to wait to see what happens when he gets home but we had a good cry and a chat about things and I think he may have been brainwashed into it too by her and that has passed to me. I'm still hurting BIG time, still want to cry, cut and everything else but darn't. Plus my mother is home today so I'm barley leaving my room, not like I leave it any other day either....