
Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Given the numbers of people that I meet on an ongoing basis, I do find it troubling and puzzling how people react and perceive the world.
I meet many people who come from violent backgrounds. Where I differ is that I don't pine away for some socially constructed view of the family, closeness or love. It almost pains me to see people in such emotional angst over things that will never be with family members (parents oftentimes) who will never change and will continue not just emotionally hurtful things, but physically hurtful things.
I don't believe that I can control anyone's behaviour, but I can limit someone's ability to harm me. While I have always understood this additional factor added onto anyone who suffers from depression, I have never been able to understand that perspective.
For example, I have several family members who are violent and alcoholics. In decades they have done nothing to deal with this behaviour or the drinking. It makes no sense for me to want a relationship with these people. These are people who would think nothing of throwing a punch or picking up a weapon for the least little situation that angers them.
However, I meet people who have similar family backgrounds and they are quite upset about the reality of their situation. I also find that over time, it has also affected my ability and willingness to be supportive. I never understood why someone would want to be in a relationship with a parent who hurts them physically and emotionally on an ongoing basis as an adult.
I meet many people who come from violent backgrounds. Where I differ is that I don't pine away for some socially constructed view of the family, closeness or love. It almost pains me to see people in such emotional angst over things that will never be with family members (parents oftentimes) who will never change and will continue not just emotionally hurtful things, but physically hurtful things.
I don't believe that I can control anyone's behaviour, but I can limit someone's ability to harm me. While I have always understood this additional factor added onto anyone who suffers from depression, I have never been able to understand that perspective.
For example, I have several family members who are violent and alcoholics. In decades they have done nothing to deal with this behaviour or the drinking. It makes no sense for me to want a relationship with these people. These are people who would think nothing of throwing a punch or picking up a weapon for the least little situation that angers them.
However, I meet people who have similar family backgrounds and they are quite upset about the reality of their situation. I also find that over time, it has also affected my ability and willingness to be supportive. I never understood why someone would want to be in a relationship with a parent who hurts them physically and emotionally on an ongoing basis as an adult.
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In your case, I am assuming you weren't physically assaulting others and the noticeable difference is that you changed a behaviour (drinking).
That is not an easy thing for most people to do and I can understand their desire to have a "normal" family with loving relations.
Thing is we can't control who our birth family is but we can control the family we share our adult lives with starting with the one we create with spouses and children.