I feel the same way..there are a lot of ppl in my life that are wonderful for me, but there are days that i have that i find myself pushing them away, but my friends are so loyal to me that they still stick with me, and i'm very appreciative of that!

it's easier to hurt the ones you love more. dunno why but you just do. i feel like i'm constantly being horrid to my bf so when i'm feelin betta (or a bit better) i explain to him and appologise. more often than not they understand more than you give them credit for

I have avoided and neglected and all but alienated everyone I have called friend...But they were the ones that made my life joyful and hopeful and helped me feel alive...I have not pushed away family--but we are odd together--not warm and close, but perhaps loyal...and the odd thing is I feel most judged by my family--feel my sense of inadequacy and hopelessness and treachery reflected in them, so it is so detrimental to have pushed the ones that gave me a sense of life outside of this away...Perhaps I thought I didn't deserve them...I allowed the duties of life to be my excuse not to interact with them...It makes me grieve, terribly...