Well, going back on meds...not real happy about it. I went to my PCP on the prompting of my eye doctor cuz I've been seeing white lights passing across the bottoms of my eyes and I thought I had something wrong with my eyes...I was sure I was going blind...LOL!! Anyway, he said that I had nothing wrong with my eyes (I got a pair of really great glasses though...I can see again!!) but he said it sounded like a symptom of my blood pressure spiking...cuz of stress...jeeze, I wonder why! So today I went to my PCP and, after listening to a condensed version of my fucked up life, figured I should be on Lexapro and Restoril. I didn't want to but he explained to me that the stress that I'm dealing with will, after time, wear on my heart and could be very bad. So, I'm going to start the Lexapro tomorrow and wait til after the weekend to start the other...cuz I wanna drink this weekend and it's something you shouldn't really drink with. I've been away from DS for so long!! It's been so hard for me to concentrate enough to read posts or write in my journal. I hate feeling like this. I've been spending my time online doing simple stuff like listening to music and watching "You Tube"...stuff I don't really have to think about. I feel guilty for not being here for all of my friends. Hopefully I will be able to be on again like I was soon. I do miss being here and I miss my friends. I really appreciate the messages and hugs I continue to get even though I haven't been able to reciprocate...You all are awesome!!
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I've had a few accounts over the years. I would be having lots of nice connections and feel like its all working and then something would trigger some episode of crazy depresssion and id just stop everything. feel like im doing ok now and just needed to com back to ds. i missed you guys. you spirit and your strength helped me through some very rough times. i just want to let all of you know the...