I am trying really hard not to hurt my 4-year old son. He just pushes all my buttons, and when I'm feeling like this, I start to feet the panic rise up in me. I told him I had to go down stairs to calm down, but he wouldn't shut up, and I was afraid he was going to wake up the baby. I grabbed him. I put a pillow over his head. I told him I had to go away so I wouldn't hurt him anymore. I just went up there and cried and told him how sorry I was. I think he was more scared about me crying than about me hurting him. He doesn't deserve this.
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