Why is life so full of so many ups and downs?
Why are my smiles always turned into frowns?
Why cant I just go on like everything is okay?
Why cant I be totally happy for one whole day?
I hate the person I am now, and the one I used to be.
I hate the one who made me feel insane and empty.
I hate that I dont feel love for anyone, not even my son.
I hate it that I dont have access to any type of gun.
I know depression lies and tells me things that arent true.
I know how it feels to not know what in the world to do.
I know its supposed to get better one of these days.
I know I cant keep running circles in this crazy maze.
I feel like nobody gets what goes through my head.
I feel like the life Im living is worse than being dead.
I feel like I have failed on so many levels, time and time again.
I feel like I should be able to make the pain and hurt just end.
I dont understand how to get through all of this.
I dont think I would be that greatly missed.
I dont see the point in even trying.
I dont know why I cant just stop crying.