Depression Support Group

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Please help me.

deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi, I would really appreciate some different opinions on whats going on with me lately. I'm becoming fixated on one issue and would like some clarification on other areas to focus on. Last week I was in a car accident. My friend died and the other driver is still really badly hurt. I was pretty lucky (apparently, I certainly dont feel lucky). I have pinched nerves in my back, and I have been getting quite bad headaches. One of my lungs collapsed and I have a hole in my side. I have got quite a few different pain killers, and a nurse also got me 3 months Aropax, which I've never been on before. Is it any different from Fluoxetine? I am finding my memory is really bad and my moods are so unpredictable. I cant sleep and the more I cant sleep the more I panic about not sleeping. I'm not sure if its the drugs or just me thats making everything so surreal. I have some Tramadol ( I think thats what it is) and some codeine and another one thats out in the car. Is this just me getting used to the Aropax or is it the other drugs? My Dr doesnt know about the Aropax and I really dont want to go into all that with him. Also, its been 8 days since the accident, 4 since the funeral and I have been home for 3 days now. I am finding I need to take the Tramadol a little more often every day, not less, why is that? My memory is so bad lately sometimes I'm not sure when its time to take them all. My left lung is really sore tonight. I think thats from holding my breath but I dont realise I'm doing it until it becomes really painful. I just dont know if I just need to ride it all out and wait for everything to level out, or if I should stop taking something or everything. Most of them run out on Friday anyway. I do like the way some of the meds help shut out the images in my head. I was only just holding the past out before the accident, now it fights for space in my head with the accident and C. I dont know why this happened. What would you do?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Are you seeing a therapist? You have a lot going on...anyone would have trouble sorting out. Let a professional help you. For the physical issues... make sure you tell your doctor everything. If they don't seem concerned about you, get a different doctor... Good luck and stay strong
deleted_user
deleted_user
First off, I am very sorry about your accident and your friend. What a tragic thing to endure. Secondly, you have a ton of meds going on and I could not give advice about that cause I am not a doc. I think it would be in your best interest to contact your doctor again or a psychiatrist.
deleted_user
deleted_user
my heart goes out to you, please go back to your doc and explain everything.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you. I cant tell my Dr, I just cant make myself say anything aloud. I know its crazy but I can write most stuff on the internet for strangers but I cannot say the words face to face. I have usually been able to work around it but I dont think I can handle all this new stuff. I know so many people have it worse and I do feel so weak. Thanks again.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am sorry for everything you have & are going through....

I would take nineteen's advice here. Tell your doctor. If you can't speak to your doctor... write it all out like you did here (print this page if necessary) and give it to them.
deleted_user
deleted_user
How can anyone really be sure they will know when to stop? How can you be sure your common sense will kick in and stop you going too far? I have felt close to this a few times before, most of the time I hear warning bells but not this time. Is that good or bad. I know I could handle my life, I just dont think I want to. I feel resigned now. I am not going to tell my Dr anything. No one can change the past or bring back the lost. I fail to see how having more people know will help me. Have a great day everyone, hope you all have a good one :o)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Good night everyone. Its 4am here, and I am going to go now. Be good and good luck :o)
deleted_user
deleted_user
okay forst of all codiene will keep u up i know i have a tumor in my kidney kidney stones constant kidney infections,anyway i have to take the codiene befor 3 pm or it keeps me up all night and the tramadol it does wear of faster every day because ur body is getting used to it but i take it too and it dont make me stay awake so try to stop taking the codiene at 3pm and take the tramodol at 6pm that should help
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would talk to the doctor about the meds first. Counselling second. Alot of people who have been in car accidents,ect who lost friends have survivors guilt and or suffer from depression and a form of ptsd. Prolonged use of pain meds and my disorder dont go well together either. Talk to the doctor or even the pharmacist who prescribed the meds for you. They will know more about reactions,ect to them.
Kaitrin
Kaitrin
It sounds as if seeing a Grief Counselor would really help you a lot.(This is the 2cd time I've recommended this tonight, but I don't think I ever have before!Just coincidence of similar topics in posts.) I saw a Grief Counselor late--4 years after the suicide of my Aunt (and legal guardian)but it helped me a lot, esp. with my overwhelming feelings of guilt.(That I couldn't/didn't save m y Aunt;that a fight we'd had the day before she passed had had triggered her death.It sounds like you too have very strong feelings of both guilt and resignation to guilt, and to grief,and grief counselors are most familiar with the guilt that survivors have after a death,especially one they were a "part of."A friend of mine,18 years ago,in a severe psychotic,deluded episode,ran through an intersection at a red light and killed a passenger,a stranger in an oncoming car,who was driving with his teenage daughter. Grief counseling(as well as a psychiatrist,for meds)changed him from a guilt consumed,suicidal young man to one who was finally able to reconcile himself to the fact that,despite what happened, he is not a bad,unforgivable person, and he deserves as much as anyone else to live a good life.He will never,ever forget what happened, but he knows now too that taking his own life,too,from its full potential, saves no one--simply ends one more important life.
As it was your friend who died,of course your issues are different, but none of it will be shocking or overwhelming or unforgivable to a trained counselor,especially one specialized in guiding a patient through all the turbulent,but necessary,steps through grief,towards healing.
Best of luck to you,hon,with everything.
deleted_user
deleted_user
(big hugs) You've been through so much. It's going to take some time for things to start to settle, go easy on yourself. Take the others' advice and get lots of rest. Don't push for anything right now and focus on recovery.
deleted_user
deleted_user
whew, so much going on, and I am so sorry for your loss.

I agree with TerriP, and the need to take all the meds is probably a need to feel different or out of it...

thats is a lot to sort through, and you seemed concerned about the amount of the medication, I would contact your doctor.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i was in your situation,5yrs ago my best friend and where camoinig home form the club when we where hit by a drunk drive (19yrs old driving on a supsend, andhe had 2 DUI's pior to this accident). the driver who hoit us died and my best fiend died.
i hAad a broioken anckle.

it took mnme till now tro start derrivoing on the highway agian and at nigght. it takes time and each day brings new challeges.

the truth is all the meds in the world are not always the answer sometimes they help, butu have to deal with your feelings in your onw way. love yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Its 2.30 am here. My daughter is away for the weekend. Its just me and my thoughts here. Every time I close my eyes my head goes crazy. Sometimes I can shut out the images but not always. I keep hearing the car crash and my friend trying to breath. When its not that its flashbacks of being raped and sometimes they all blend together. A lot of my memory is coming back. I have stopped taking some of the pain killers. I have stock piled enough to be numb and sleep, but only once so I need to choose the best time. My friends mother rang me today. She wants to send me some of C's things. I also heard the other driver is going to be ok. How is it fair that she dies and he lives? Why did I live? She was a much better person than me. My daughter was really angry with me this morning and told me she wished I had died and not C. She said C would have been a much better mother than me. I tend to agree with her. I used to feel in control, now I dont.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I've decided to go and have a hot bath. Bye everyone.
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