i am in a depression that is destroying my lifei have been with my wife since october 10th 2003. we have been married since 2006 july 10th to be exact. we have had a typical rlationship like anyother with its up and downs. the major issues started last year when i was addicted and consumed by an online rpg game called world of warcraft i neglected her by staying on there for multiple hours 15+ but i did it because she was talking to guys off the internet and calling them thats what i used to justify my actions.well she could only take enough and we threatened seperation but it never happened. finally i gave up the game and have been off of it for 3 months well our neighbor i used to go over there to from heaway and relax. you know guy time. well she started coming over there and flirting with them in fron of me and i couldnt handle it and i left and asked her not to go over there because it was affecting our marriage she wouldnt. she would stay over there all day and into the night. i had found condoms in the house and they were latex free and my wife is allergic to latex. i suestioned her about itand she denied it well her and this guy joe got close and personal i knew he was trying to make the moves on my wife so we moved 6 hours away. i told her i didnt want her talking to him anymore no phone no nothin. well i later found out that she was talking to him the whole time i was at work whenever she could. then thanksgiving comes aorund and she says she wnats to go see her family for the holidays i couldnt take off work so i didnt go i knew in my heart there was alterior motives but i tried to trust her . turns out that guy joe came to pick her up and she spent thanksgiving with him and slept in the same bed as him thanksgiving night when i caught her i told her i wanted a divorce. tired of all the lies and games well the more i was away from her the more i realized how much i actually loved her i tried to move on but couldnt and she kept calling me apologizing to me and telling me she wants me back and this and that. she admitted to me to kissing him but nothing more. well i gave in and decided to start over and wipe the slate clean well then she told me she id other sexdual things with him and started to have sex but didnt then she told me he raped her but she wouldnt do anything about it. she is telling me she is so confused and this and that and she doesnt know what to do so i gave her time not talking to her or anything so she wouldnt be influenced by me that she could make up her own mind freely and clearly well she told me that she owuld have made up her mind by then she still hasnt made up her m ind its like she is holding both of us on a leash and just teasing us both she is living with this guy in a motel room by her mothers house. she told me today that she slept with him willingly one time to see what it was like and she didnt like it and she wanted to be with me but when the other guy found out that shewanted to be with me she changed her mind back to undecided i cant takethis anymore this is the love of my life my soulmae and i love her unconditionally.this is tearing me up so bad i have no idea what to do it is destroying my life completely and totally. all i can think about is what she is doing with him i try to move on but i cant i have thought about suicide to end all of the pain i dont want to do it but it seems like the only way out of this pain i have in my heart. what can i do i need to talk to someone i relocated and i have no friends and no support network. PLEASE HELP ME!
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