I'm sitting here after another rough day. For a while I was feeling great, but now I'm crashing again. Being someone who is in recovery from self injury for seven years, I was in the Self Injury forum. Someone was talking about cutting, and I remembered back to when I used to cut. I haven't cut myself or seriously entertained it in seven years, and I've been on this website for a little over two weeks. The strange thing is that it was natural for me to cut myself. When I first did it, it seemed like the right thing to do, it made me feel good and relaxed, and, although I didn't talk about it, I wasn't ashamed of it. In some ways, since I've stopped, I've felt more alienated from myself. I don't expect very many people to understand this feeling. I'm really confused right now. I feel like I don't know up from down. Since I've been on here, I have fewer suicidal thoughts and I feel like I've come far in getting over my ex, which were both huge for me. But, now I'm thinking about cutting again?! Are things getting better or WORSE? It's fuckin wonky. Should I do something else like get a tattoo?? I dont know!! Bear in mind, the desire to cut is NOT the same as wanting to kill myself.
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