i feel lost right now. over the last 10 years i have not been myself. i have contemplated suicide and for attention started cutting myself. 5 years ago i had a little girl and her father and i split up. that is an issue in itself. this past october i had a baby girl and gave her up for adoption b/c i felt that i could not give her a good home. honestly, and i know this sounds bad, but i felt that i would hurt her and my 5 year old. since then my family came back into my life and things seemed okay but now i am feeling down and out, useless and a bad mother. this morning i got mad at my daughter over a lemon and slapped her across her face. i am always taking things out on her by screaming and cursing her out like she is a "crackhead" on the street. i told her i hate her and that she is a b@#$%. i immediately started crhying b/c i know that i really don't feel that way but it seems that i cannot control these outburst. she does not deserve to have a horrible mother like me. one of my friends had me take a test on the lexaporo site and it said that i scored one point over "very severe depression" please is there anybody else out there that has experienced this. thank
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