you see, i've tried to make posts every now an then - to say how i feel. but it seems like thats all there is on DS. how we feel.
the good that its done me is to see things from a different perspective sometimes, but it doesnt change the situation.
and with that, to change my situation i need to be active; i need to be on the go and at least try something. but i dont have any energy. im not joking. its serious.
baby steps they say, do something relaxing they say - like "meditating", or taking care of yourself and putting on a bit of lippy to feel better.
and if that doesnt help, ring your therapist or a helpline... i have rung childline four times - thats unlike me. i am also seeing mental health services but not regularly. but they refuse me medication, and my psych laughs at me when im sarcastic. im only like it because they arent understanding - but what can i say?
i cannot be an active role in my own life because - and i know this is long but hear me out. i am sat here everyday in my room doing nothing, i have nothing. i try and plan my day only to be overcome with the realisation i have nothing to plan. i have been out once today and i motivated myself. but i have no friends, no boyfriend, everyone is indifferent towards me, my family? not going there, i dont live with them - and the saddest thing is its not just my perception.




this is real. this is happening. and im stuck here. in this room. its been 4 months. im suprised im not mad yet. 4 months. what can i do? theres no advice needed. i guess i just wanted to prove sometimes there is nothing you can do