OH I CAN RELATE!!!!!

Sometimes I do feel that way. But deep down I know that there is a reason for me being here, and that I have hope. That's what keeps me going thru these rough times. That and people who understand, especially here.

I am surrounded by people and still feel alone

I do feel that way, I won't say daily but weekly at least...

It seems to be never ending for me. When I first joined DS I was reading threads about positive thinking. Exactly how does that work and where do you begin? Is it possible to take an overly pescimistic person and change their thought patterns?

I so relate. I feel that I have landed in the wrong time era. Better that me? Me better than them? No, just VERY different.

Empty and alone has felt like it has been with me forever! Feeling so lost in this big world and trying to find where I fit in has been a lifetime battle. I thought I was alone with all the different feelings that I had been having. But then I came to this site, read so many different threads on different boards. I soon realized that I wasn't alone. You are not alone jloz.

But, will it ever change. How do I change this??

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helped me get out of some of the negative thought patterns. A periodic refresher is never a bad idea. When I'm in my depression thinking mode, the negative stuff seems perfectly rational until someone trained in CBT comes along and shows me where I took a wrong turn.
You might also trying simple exercises to help you regain an awareness of your ability to choose and reinforce the value of your own self-image. One that a therapist of mine started me out with was going to a store and picking out a paint chip sample that I decided - without conferring with anyone else - was my 'favorite' and carrying the card around in my pocket as a reminder. The exercise demanded that I not confirm or even reveal that I had chosen a favorite color. The choice and the value I placed on it were all mine.
I hope that helps. It was a place to start for me.

jloz39, I can only tell you that as you move through your life and make conscious choices that affirm your needs, your desires and wishes, and continue to BELIEVE that all that you have chosen will be for the right reason, then you will begin to, I hope, to feel that you are important; are worthy; matter; and most importantly belong here and now.

I can only tell you what I think and feel at age 53, but my Grandmother, who lived to be 90 told me when I was 26~ and had just bailed out of my first marriage~ she gave me some very simple (and profound) advice.
She said: 'Just be happy.'
I scoffed at first in thinking about it and really didn't even understand why she said that to me. As time has gone on and I have had my own battle with depression. I can honestly tell you that her advice was spot on...and it's not easy for the majority of us to find happiness, let alone be happy, when the world seems to set-up for misery and failure.
What I now believe is that on some level, we personally choose our situations~ good, bad, sick, or sad, and unless we are willing to accept it~ then we will not be able to change it. Am I talking about faith in God or a higher power~ you betcha~ but I'm also talking about faith in me~ my soul~ my creation and how I can be a better person no matter what.
I believe age provides maturity and perspective and I am grateful to be older and hopefully, a little more accepting of some of the things that I can change and let the rest of it go.

woo hoo a whole 8 responses.

Yep, I can relate. I thought that way most of my life and still catch myself trying to fall back into that way of thinking. jloz, you asked if it's possible to take an overly pessimistic person and change their thought patterns. "Yes!" and I'm a living example of that. Like Ireland80, I also believe that there's a reason, a purpose, for my being here and I cling to that. I've had very limited counseling in my life, but I suppose I've been doing my own CBT without even having realized it. Here's one practical thing that might help. Using Microsoft word (or you can handwrite this), make up a little portable "thoughts log". In the first column, list the date and time of day. In the second, list the situation in which you experience negative/troubling thoughts and feelings (What happened?) Next column, write your initial thoughts. Then, express your feelings. In the last column, write an alternative, positive thought.
Example:
10/29, 10 a.m.-Friend called to cancel our get-together for tonight./Thought: She probably doesn't want to be around me because I'm a downer./Feeling: Sad, unwanted./Alternative thought: She probably DOES want to hang out, but might have had an unexpected situation come up.
Another example: 10/30-2 p.m.-Boss pointed out errors I made on my paperwork./Thought: I'm such a screw-up. Can't do anything right./Feelings: Incompetent, useless./Alternative thought: Ok, so I made a mistake. I'll just be more conscientious next time. I know I'm pretty decent at what I do, but hey...everyone makes mistakes.
There are some web sites that actually have worksheets like this, but I don't have them handy. I can dig them out if anyone is interested.
I know it's frustrating and it is hard work. But if there's hope for me (the former queen of pessimism), there's hope for anyone. : ) ~Laura~

Sometimes I feel that way, not so much as I used to.