I admit tha fact that I'm a danger to myself, and in the right situation, I feel like a danger to others. But, no matter how bad I feel, it doesn't even matter. I told my mother that I wanted to be hospitalized, because I do not trust myself to stay away from all the pretty shiny knives and the abundance of pills I have in my house. But, in the area I live in, there is almost no beds in the adolescent wards in the nearby mental hospitals. My mom had been calling for about two weeks, but she gave up. I really feel like I need the safety of being inpatient, yet there's nowhere to go! Ahhh!
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