Its a new day....Im glad to have another day to be alive, but at the same time im so fucking depressed its not even funny. I got in a HUGE fight with my brother last night. He thinks that i am living a \'heroin lifestyle\'...Really!?! I have never ever even thought about using that drug, let alone lived the lifestyle that gose along with it. But because my fiancee is a recovering addict apperently Im living the same lifestyle hes use too. Iam not the kind of person who will let someone else run their life. I gave my fiancee this one fuck-up. I will stick by him through this only once. I will accept the excuse that he relapseed because of his withdrawl from Methadone.(Notice I said accept* not believe**). And I will not tolerate this ever again. I will not allow my life to stop because of his problem. I know I will still be someone who loves him and supports him, but our relationship will be over. I know no one understands what Im dealing with right now (unless you are going through it too), and Its ok....I just fucking hate being judged by people, and Im sick and fucking tired of peoples ignorance. People who have addiction are still human even tho they have a disease. yes the disease has been fed by them, but it dosent mean they want to have it. You dont look at someone with lung cancer and say they deserve no understanding or pitty because they smoke do you? If everyone would stop and really think, I mean REALLy think about what it would be like to be in their shoes for a day, no one would ever judge someone again. It really hurts when people look down at you for just loving someone with an addiction. I love HIM not his addiction. I met him When he was on methadone treatment and off actual Heroin for three years. I fell in love with the beautiful person who he really is, not the monster he is when hes using. Love is hard enough without judgement from people who dont even know whats going on. Im tired of my brother making me feel like shit because he thinks he knows better...I was having such a good day yesterday and he completely dragged me down. Why would you do that to someone? Why would you call someone just to make them feel like shit, and say its because you care and are trying to help. My Mother who, in my opinion, is the smartest person on the face of the earth, told me that no one can make you feel anyway you dont let yourself feel. She\'s the only person who has been understanding and supportive druing all this. She tells it to me straight and has no problem yelling at me if I need it. So why did she have to have a stupid son who\'s such an ass!?! Im lucky I have her...shes really the only person Ive talked to who really cares about me being ok through this. Im just tired of feeling like shit...Its been such a bad week and I felt like I was doing so well through it and now its like Im back to square one...
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