
Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

deleted_user
In a nutshell..I habitually overthink day in day out, non stop. It has to stop. It gets me into big trouble. Tiny meaningless things that my husband tells me escalate and get stored up even for years and then snowball into the biggest problems ever.
Today I told him I will change. He told me there is so much he has witheld from me over the years (been together for 20) cos he knows if he says anything it'll come back in his face. One thing is him emailing an old school friend for months and months. I only knew of this when a xmas card arrived last year with all our names in and he then mentioned she had invited us over. My reaction...'you think after keeping it a secret from me I want to meet this bitch?' He uses his work email and will not and has never told me anything about their emails. I feel its very unfair but he is fed up with my behaviour. I feel a bit left out as she obviously knows about our life here and now but I know absolutely nothing about her.
Overthinking obviously leads me to believe that there must be something going on behind my back.
Today I told him I will change. He told me there is so much he has witheld from me over the years (been together for 20) cos he knows if he says anything it'll come back in his face. One thing is him emailing an old school friend for months and months. I only knew of this when a xmas card arrived last year with all our names in and he then mentioned she had invited us over. My reaction...'you think after keeping it a secret from me I want to meet this bitch?' He uses his work email and will not and has never told me anything about their emails. I feel its very unfair but he is fed up with my behaviour. I feel a bit left out as she obviously knows about our life here and now but I know absolutely nothing about her.
Overthinking obviously leads me to believe that there must be something going on behind my back.
Posts You May Be Interested In
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
A spouse, friend, lover, cannot provide 100% of everything their partner needs or wants.
Journaling always helps me get my thoughts together. Like, what is it that is making me react to this? A past hurt that you have not completlely healed? Just start writing until the answers or clarity come. Get the thoughts out of you head, write it all out, then delete it, burn it, whatever, but release it. Helps me.........Bless you, sorry you are in such pain.
You said he has held back from you because it will come back in his face - so that has to do with how you react to things, not how much you are thinking about them.
And, he definitely sounds like he is using that as an excuse to hide things he shouldn't be doing - and wouldn't like you doing with someone else.
If he is not having a physical affair, it does sound like he is having an emotional one.
If you two BOTH want to stay together, you should see a therapist together. If EITHER ONE one of you doesn't want to stay together, you should think about a seperation, to think it over.
Otherwise, your relationship will inevitably deteriorate the way it is going, and ultimately be destroyed anyway.
Because of overthinking he was very honest yesterday and told me that because of the way I behave he hid an invite to a wedding of two work friends of his from me as he knew I would create! Is he just trying to protect me by not telling me stuff anymore? I am starting to believe this is the case. Does anyone else have problems with such low insecurity that if your partner even so much as mentions someones name it makes you start thinking that you are not good enough for them and you must be lacking somewhere because they need other people too? Thanks for your replies guys. I really need help to get over this overthinking once and for all and share stuff with you all so I know that I am not the only overthinker on the planet. By the way, I have no friends because I feel this would be wrong as I should be totally trusting toward him. Plus its a confidence thing so all these problems dont really help me out much.