
Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

deleted_user
Ever since my first boyfriend broke up with me about 9 months ago, I have been so depressed and obsessed with having a guy in my life. After a few failures here and there I have a guy in my life. He is my age and in the Navy. We live about 8 hours away. I had somethimg with him over the summer for a few weeks but he didnt want that committment. We stayed friends until he said something that made me believe he was using me. We stopped talking. Then in Nov he contacted me and apoligized for what he did and we became close like before. I recently visited him for a week and it was perfect. The best new years for both of us. We left being officially bf and gf but we talked a few days ago and he just doesnt want that. He still feels the same way about me and I him..and we both do not forsee our feeling change but he cannot have this title of being my bf while he is doing his navy stuff bc he will hardly ever see me. After this year he said that it will be easier for him to actually be my bf. We havnt changed any aspect of our relationship, we just dont have that title. Is it stupid of me to want to wait for him? I do not want to try with anyone else..I just still feel so sad for some reason? this is not how i pictured my love life but i dont want anything with anyone else! am i doing the right thing by waiting?
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my 2 pennies
So I think that in this case you may be open to having an official relationship with him when this year is over . . . but I would be extremely open to others too . . .you don't have to actually look . . . but definitely be open . . . my opinion is that if he doesn't want the official title its b/c he may want to date . . .as others have said . . .
in computer science, theres a thing called black box testing. its basically (or can be) a test of software where you give an input, let the program do its thing in the black box (no one cares of the whos, whats and hows of the black box) and the box gives an output. you compare the output to whats expected based on the input to validate the program.
in your case imo , the input is kinda irrelavent... either you want a relationship or not. your conversations with this guy are what happens inside the black box. no one really cares what is said, who said it or how its said. the main focus is the output. from what i gather, his output is the he does not want to be commited to a relationship. for whatever reason and no matter the sugar coating, the result was he does not want to be commited.
at the end of your post you said " this is not how i pictured my love life but i dont want anything with anyone else! am i doing the right thing by waiting? "
based on the fact that he is non-commital i'd say that no you are not doing the right thing by waiting (wanting to commit) for someone that is not ready to commit. sounds like you want something with someone for certain, but trying to commit to a non-commital person is a let-down in the making imo.
my final 3 cents so now ive given a nickel :)
this i just my opinion btw and howd id view it from your shoes. please no flames