Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Old member returning, could do with a friendly ear

deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi all. Im having a really bad time of it right now and cant talk to anyone offline. My life is in a mess and im going downhill fast. Me and my partner broke up on saturday night. We had been out and he was flirting with a girl that he knows. I ignored it. Then, after we had come in from having a fag, this girl walks in front of him, grabs his hand and puts it behind her back. Kind of an unusual thing to do to someone that you dont really know etc. Anyway, I looked to see what my partner would do and he didnt do anything. He didnt remove her hand from his, he didnt say " hey, what are you doing ", he did nothing. I then walked out. He came after me and I told him to leave me alone. This isnt the first time ive had words with him about this sort of thing. Ive said to him so many times that if he flirts when im there, what is he like when im not but he just never got it. He stayed out all night and came back in the morning. I asked what he was doing and he said he was leaving. His mum says he loves me but if thats true, why does he have this need to flirt and hurt me all the time? Why cant men be happy with what they have? Theres more to it than what ive written but this is just to sum up.
i feel like hes ripped my heart out. Not only that but we have a 7 month old baby who he hasnt thought twice about. he was meant to have been in work this morning and he isnt. He never dosnt show up for work. My mind is working overtime and ive convinced myself that it was all a smokescreen and that hes now with someone else. If he is, why couldnt he just be honest and say that? Hes left me with bills coming out of my ears and when I mentioned it all yesterday, he said he didnt want to talk about it. I know ive got to be strong for my baby but I cant stop crying. I havnt eaten or slept in 2 days and im literally fallin apart.
deleted_user
deleted_user
so sorry this is happening to you, i would try couple counsoling, men do crazy things for crazy reasons. for the babies sack, it is worth trying to salvage the marriage.
deleted_user
deleted_user
He hasnt even contacted me. Im not married but we were together for 3 years. I wouldnt stay with him for the baby. he either wants me or he dosnt but I wouldnt stay with anyone for a child. I know its over ( my pride wouldnt let me have him back even if he wanted to ), I just wish so much that I could turn to stone and not feel anything. I want to hurt him the way hes hurt me. I want him to know how it feels to be treated badly.
deleted_user
deleted_user
none of the things you want him to feel he will ever get, cut your losses and move on, it hurts like hell.. but remember that its temporary.. you WILL be okay.. and you got the best deal of all.. a precious baby... so even though it didn't work between you, you are walking away with your dignity, AND your child.. while HE is running off to continue his loser life... don't worry hun, you will be so much better without him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I just wish that for once, the person that I am with wants me and only me and dosnt have the need to feel wanted by other women. Every man that ive ever been with has been the same. They want you they get you, then they dont want you anymore. I didnt want to be a single parent again. I didnt want to bring yet another child into the world that will come from a broken home. He persuaded me to have the baby. When I found out I was pregnant, I had been drinking heavily, on tablets etc and he said he really wanted the baby. I told him how life would change and how the freedom would be gone and he said he didnt care, that he wanted the baby more than going out etc. Now its like he has realised that his life has changed too much and he wants the sinlge life again and whos left to pick up the pieces? I am. Its always me and I dont ave the energy anymore.
deleted_user
deleted_user
you will overcome this... your stronger than him, yes, it sucks that he can just change his mind or walk away from something he once wanted... but not all men are like that, focus on just you and your kids... you don't need a man to make you complete.. look within yourself. "Plant your own garden instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers"
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know I dont need a man to make me complete. Im just so sick of everything always falling down around me. I just want to be happy. The way I feel now is that I will never laugh again. I have 2 other children as well who this has also affected. I have topick up the pieces for me, them and the baby and in all honesty, I dont think I can do it. I feel like ive shut down. How can someone tear your whole world apart and walk away like nothings happened? Why do they tell you they love you, want to be with you forever and then do this? I never asked for him to tell me any of that. I never forced the words out of his mouth. I feel tricked, cheated and so alone.
meandthebeast
meandthebeast
first off, welcome back to DS..
I can say that I know what your feeling and loving one that doesnt love you in the same way always hurts.. always..
You need to keep your head up and your self-esteem for your children. This happens everyday to both men and women.. And the pain is devastating.. But it does go away and you will continue on with your life. But your children need you more then ever right now as hard as it is..

Remember... " Sometimes goodbye is a second chance " Good luck hon
deleted_user
deleted_user
well, really... your allowed to mourn the loss of your relationship.. for now, go through the motions to get you some time under your belt.. your strength will come back to you hun.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Im resigned to the fact that im going to be in a bad way for a while yet. I just want to skip it all and be ok. He IS at work. He changed shifts with someone. I phoned to see if he was there so I can take his things to his mums without him being there. Ive got to get together all his stuff and I dont think I can summon the energy. Why is it that when a relationship breaks down, you feel lifeless? I know deep down that im worth more than this but part of me cant help but think " why am I not good enough for him? ". Why arent WE good enough for him? Why is the grass always so much greener somewhere else?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hugs & I am so sorry xx
deleted_user
deleted_user
hugs and sorry you are going through a rough patch,hope it gets better for you soon.
milly17
milly17
Im so sorry hun. Ive been through it and the worst thing is what you are thinking right now, 'whats wrong with me, why arent i enough' and it does wonders for your self esteem, right? Its hard to get over and as you say you feel lifeless but you will get over it and there are decent guys out there who want us and us alone honey. (we just have to wait and they will find us and in the mean time we have our children to think of and they are the most important thing in our lives so we have to keep getting up and going through the motions for them) No man like that is worth it. If you need a shoulder hun or anything im here okx
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