Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Here we go 'round the mulberry bush...the mulberry bush...the mulberry bush...Here we go 'round the mulberry bush on a cold and frosty morning.
I was falling apart at the seems. I went to stay with a friend for about a week. I came home for 1 day and was holding on by a thread. I went to my aunts house cause I wasn't safe to be alone. No sleep, no food, no liquid, makes for one sick snowy girl.
I was watching Charmed, the episode where Piper turns into a Fury and wreaks havoc all over her family until she comes to realize the real source of her rage is the death of her sister. Well, I was just bawling. My aunt was holding me. She asked, "Does this hit home for you?" as she was looking down at me.
I didn't want to admit anything. I just burried my head into her lap. She asked, "Are you mad at your mom for dieing?" I just screamed at her, "YES! SHE LEFT ME AGAIN!"
There it was. Out in the open. Mommy and I had such a great relationship for the past 2 years. How dare she leave me again? Our relationship was finally healed and we were having a great time together. How could she just leave me alone? How could she not know that I need her? How could she die and leave me an orphan? How could she abandon a relationship that was healed?
OH MY GOD! Mommy where did you go? It was too soon. I want to know so much more from you. I want to still hold you. I want to still talk with you. I want to still laugh with you. How could you leave me with nothing? How couyld you leave me so empty? I miss you. How could you leave me? How could you just leave me? How could you leave me? Mommy, please come back. I don't want to be mad at you, but I am. I am mad at you. You left me when I was a little baby girl and you have left me again. You left me again. I hate you for leaving me. DO YOU HEAR ME MOMMY? I HATE YOU FOR LEAVING ME!!!! I love you so much. I can't stand this. How could you leave me again?
I was falling apart at the seems. I went to stay with a friend for about a week. I came home for 1 day and was holding on by a thread. I went to my aunts house cause I wasn't safe to be alone. No sleep, no food, no liquid, makes for one sick snowy girl.
I was watching Charmed, the episode where Piper turns into a Fury and wreaks havoc all over her family until she comes to realize the real source of her rage is the death of her sister. Well, I was just bawling. My aunt was holding me. She asked, "Does this hit home for you?" as she was looking down at me.
I didn't want to admit anything. I just burried my head into her lap. She asked, "Are you mad at your mom for dieing?" I just screamed at her, "YES! SHE LEFT ME AGAIN!"
There it was. Out in the open. Mommy and I had such a great relationship for the past 2 years. How dare she leave me again? Our relationship was finally healed and we were having a great time together. How could she just leave me alone? How could she not know that I need her? How could she die and leave me an orphan? How could she abandon a relationship that was healed?
OH MY GOD! Mommy where did you go? It was too soon. I want to know so much more from you. I want to still hold you. I want to still talk with you. I want to still laugh with you. How could you leave me with nothing? How couyld you leave me so empty? I miss you. How could you leave me? How could you just leave me? How could you leave me? Mommy, please come back. I don't want to be mad at you, but I am. I am mad at you. You left me when I was a little baby girl and you have left me again. You left me again. I hate you for leaving me. DO YOU HEAR ME MOMMY? I HATE YOU FOR LEAVING ME!!!! I love you so much. I can't stand this. How could you leave me again?
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This is a general message I am posting to all of the groups I belong to:I just thought back to when I first found DS soon after it first began and what a different life I had then. It is much better now, mainly because I have my own apartment as opposed to living in an old travel trailer in somebody's driveway. But even that could have been much worse than it was. I have been here now since...
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But my mom, she's just evil. And I think mainly, not because of her caustic, toxic character, to put it mildly, but I think becuase she has just given in to it, manipulated and controlled whomever she could get at the time, to take care of her, instead of looking in the mirror and seeing what needs fixing.
Snowy, I know your sadness is so deep and painful - but know it is because of the love you and your mom had/have for each other, and that in time, it will heal, and the pain will subside. And you will be able to enjoy happy memories again.