*Sigh* I dont know what the hell I am doing with my life ... I just am ready to go. I am in this horrible slump ... and I cant get out. It doesnt matter how hard I try to be happy or how fake I can be ... I just cant seem to pull out of it. I am making some decisions that probably arent the best. I decided to have my PEG tube removed, and I know that was a big mistake. It was keeping me at a healthy weight and giving me energy. Without it I just dont think I can maintain. I know I will be going back to my old way. So I guess now ... I am just waiting to die. I dont have the guts and the energy to end it now ... but I am more then ready to go. I dont post this for attention or anything of that sorts. I guess its more of admitting that I am ready to die.
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