I am not doing well physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. My body so wants to stop carring the load a partial body and all the grave affects it causes. I am tired of the monstrous people in the medical field who judge I do not have it as bad as other seriously ill people and put me second and third so often. I am way demoralized by my severe fatigue attacks that include the way most uncomfortable stomach. I struggle so hard physically and mentally to stay alive for one more day. I had to get up from my prison of a bed because I was feeling as if I was going to jump up and kill myself. Along with my miserable stomach my joints and legs ache and pain intensely bad. My legs want to rush walk away from the aching and pain. I wish I had a woman friend to hug me and tell me this to will pass and you will feel so good in relief. I wish my son was well enough (mentally, socially/emotionally) to be able to help me. If I tell him that I feel my days are numbered, which I am sure they are, he just tells me hard it will be for him if I do succumb. He is not at fault so there is no fault to make right. He is ill.
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