Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I think I am going to kill myself. Ive thought about it before, but this time feels different. This time I feel I don't have any other options. My husband is taking this job where he will only be home 4-8 days a month. Starts beginning of January. I can't live by myself. I can't and I won't. Im so fucking lonely and my friend can't move in here because she has her own shit to deal with. No one can just drop there lives to come live with me. I certainly don't have anyone to stay with. I have nothing to live or breathe for. He was the only thing. Now he will be gone. I can't drive, I can't leave my house. I won't be able to visit friends or family and we all know they won't come see me. I can't see my therapist anymore because I can't drive a car to go see her while Robby is gone forever. Im so dependant on him...I can't live on my own for weeks at a time. Who will be there to protect me when my mood changes. I can't do this. I can't get through the holidays pretending that in a few weeks my life will still be ok. Im not going to lie to myself or anyone else. Im sooooooo alone. I just want to be around people. I just want people to talk to..just to watch tv with...and cook meals with. I have no one. I had Robby two boxes of sleeping pills..I said I just couldn't sleep and that we might as well stock up. If I take them all I don't have a chance to pull through. Ill make sure he is out of the house so he doesn't see me getting sick and try getting me help. I might have to wait till this weekend when he leaves to see his parents. Im sorry...you all think Im weak. Trying to live on my own..with these monsters in my head...and no one to tell me ill be ok or hold me when Im scared. Thats not a place I want to be. Im sorry. Im done.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
If you can't be alone then don't be, if he knows how important having him around is to your mental health I'm sure he'd want you along to keep you safe and near him.
You also didn't mention where in Ohio you live, is there busing in your town? Take the bus, go to town, to the therapist, to the library, to the movies anywhere to get out of the house for a little while.
It may be a few months away, but spring is not too far...start gardening, meet your neighbors, have a community vegetable garden. MAKE FRIENDS! You would be surprised how many lonely people are out there just waiting to meet someone like you. And, of course, we are all online and hoping to be your friends too. Heck, some days when it gets really bad for me, I go to one of the online coloring sites and sit and color pictures online, or do puzzles (my latest favorite is jigsaw puzzles) online. There is a whole world out there and one of the worst things for depression is becoming insular and isolated, so why do it?
Healing purrs--Laura
I have a dear friend in Ohio and she says your state is pretty midevil when it comes to care for just about everything but different communities might have more to offer. Get that phone book out and see and go online to sites dealing wiht your specific issues and find what help they can offer.
Be strong. Stay on here with us.
we are here.
God bless her.